The Difference Between WANTING and NEEDING Change

I need change.

I need something else.

I need movement.

I need a new job.

I need to travel.

Do the above statements sound familiar to you?  Throughout my life these thoughts have come in and out of my head like the tides.  Acting on them gives me comfort and feeds an inner urge I can't explain. NOT being able to act on my need for change picks away at my zest for life.  Explaining these feelings to someone else can be difficult, especially if they are very content without change, exploring or movement.  Before you can begin to explain your need for change YOU must be able to come to an understanding of WHY you feel this way.  So, let's think about the difference between wanting something and needing something.

What is the difference between wanting change and needing change?

A WANT is a desire.  For example, you desire a new car - even though yours is running fine.  You may desire a new coat because the one you have is out of style.  You don't NEED a new coat because the one you have now still keeps you warm.  Would replacing the coat make you happier?   Maybe.  If you didn't buy a new coat and kept your old one, would you feel depressed, withered or tortured?  If you must keep up with the fashion world, you might feel a bit embarrassed, but most wearing an older coat will not wither away your happiness of life.

Now, let's think about NEED.  Merriam-Webster's dictionary states "a need is a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism".  We need water to live.  We need heat to keep us warm from freezing temperatures.  We need energy, in the form of food and vitamins, to move around, stay alive and fight disease and sickness.  Really without meeting basic survival needs the human population would not exist.

The words well-being described in Merriam-Websters definition brings a few things to mind, such as  feeling comfortable, happy, thriving, progressive, successful and satisfied.  Without well-being a person might feel depressed, withered, not themselves, tortured, distressed and maybe even a bit crazy.

After reading about the differences of "want" vs "need", how do YOU feel
about YOUR need to change now?  I challenge you to really think about your inner self and how you deal with the love for change. If you feel yourself withering without it, you were probably born with the gene that makes you who you are.  Welcome to the family.


If you'd like further guidance in explaining your urge for change to someone close to you, please contact me.  My service is free and I have a lot of experience in this area.

Got Restless Genes?

You may have found this blog while trying to find answers on why you seek perpetual change or why you feel stir crazy when things should be "just fine".

To help you further explore the idea of possibly carrying the "adventure gene",  below are some questions that may bring some humor and enlightenment to your thoughts.  These questions are based on questions I've asked myself over the past few years.  They've helped me realize I'm not crazy, but part of an amazing group of people living on this planet who are adaptable, movable and ready to survive.

 Think You Have Restless Genes?  Ask Yourself.... 

1)  Do you feel a natural high when starting a new job, major project or travel adventure?

2)  Do you wonder why you repeatedly find yourself slipping into the ho-hum doldrums only after one to three years of starting yet ANOTHER new job?  

3)  Do you thrive in work involving the outdoors, traveling or emergency services vs. an office setting job?

4)  Do you feel more "out of control" when stability settles in for too long and more "in control" during times of movement and unpredictability? 

5)  Do you know you would be a survivor and would adapt to anything if the world nearly came to an end?

6)  Does the possibility of leaving earth to live on Mars excite you?

7)  Are you drawn to new destinations, countries or situations that have higher instability or danger....just because you "feel" you need the experience?

8)  Does the thought of "settling down" make you feel uneasy?  Or if you did "settle down", did it take you many years of moving around to pick a location as "home base"?

9)  Do you follow the blogs of individuals, retirees and families who gave up everything to travel the world?

10)  Have family or friends called you any of the following names;  explorer, nomad, gypsy, free spirited, black sheep, globetrotter, vagabond, drifter, wanderer, pilgrim or traveler?
11) Do you hear yourself saying, "I need a change", every couple of years...referring to a MAJOR LIFE CHANGE, not the color of paint in your bedroom?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, chances are you carry the restless gene.  We aren't freaks of nature and by no means cursed for life.  In reality we share something special that sets us apart from others.  During times of emergency or uncertainty, our instincts set in.  We tend to make decisions  based less on emotion so we're more response ready.  We also easily separate ourselves from the negative impact of others, which helps us remain focused.  Really, when it comes down to it, those without the restless gene will need us in order to survive the next meteor disaster.  Doesn't sound so bad, does it?

Why Restless Genes?

For most of my life I have loved change - whether it's in the form of new opportunities, traveling, meeting new people or seeking adventure.  Looking forward to the next challenge fills a void deep within me and settles my restlessness.  I also find that working for the same company for more than two years is difficult.   When boredom begins to set in, that is my cue to start looking for another job. Recently, I have begun to question why I'm like this.

My inspiration for learning more about this topic and connecting with other people stems from an article that was featured in the 125th anniversary issue of National Geographic.  The article, "Restless Genes" by David Dobbs, is a great introduction that explains what may cause some people to feel restless.  It also addresses why some people need to change their environment frequently and/or have the urge to explore.

According to the article, around 20% of the world's population share an amazing "adventure gene" known as DRD4-7R.  (I will write about this in more detail later).  Although I haven't been tested (yet) to see if I carry the DRD4-7R gene, I feel as though it runs through my blood. In recognizing the genetic component for a deep sense of change, I feel compelled to explore the topic and reach out to others, who share similar characteristics and urges.

My hope for this website is to provide the resources and connections that will celebrate the restlessness within us and increase our ability to thrive and be happy.  Whether you are a college student, parent, young adult, the CEO of a major corporation or live in the wild, this will be the place to connect, find stories and learn of opportunities to satisfy your wandering needs.